notes from metaphorical reminders !
- Lola Mae
- May 27, 2024
- 6 min read
let's reflect on life lessons: notes from my book metaphorical reminders<3 welcome to my first behind the scenes post, where i am exploring 4 of my favourite reminders. i love to know why, i love to get the backstroy, i love to know more. so, if you've read my book, this is literally a haven for that! if you haven't, here's a taste of what's inside...
keep an eye out for post 2 if you enjoy the read!
firstly,
why did i add reminders to my poetry?
it simply added the perfect cherry on top to every poem. i did this way before i could've even dreamt of publishing my very own book. i would write in my notes app, like most 15-year-olds do these days, and just pour everything I felt into words, rhymes, metaphors. and to finish, after i'd released what i felt, i would write underneath what it taught me. (pretty good coping mechanism younger me xox)
it wasn't until later when i realised this could be incorporated into a book, and actually help others, whether that be helping them get through something or aiding their understanding of a certain concept. maybe thinking about a topic from a different angle. So that's why.
also, poetry should be accessible to everybody. & not every poem is straightforward. sometimes it may help a reader understand, and in turn feel more from what they're reading.
time to reflect...
i've selected some of my favourite reminders and would love to elaborate on them!
NATURE
' relationships shouldn't drain you '
(page 1) which comes from the following poem:
our body needs water
without it
our head begins to hurt
our joints begin to ache
we could faint
we could die
so why did i
drain my body of all its water
just so you wouldn't go thirsty?'
why i love this:
i feel like this is a universal feeling for people in relationships that aren't right for them. the man i'm with now is my soulmate and even though our relationship has it's blips, it doesn't feel like a weight i'm carrying around. it feels peaceful. but i haven't always been so lucky.
this poem is aimed at those who feel like their sense of self is lost in their relationship, for those that know they need to leave, for those who don't feel heard or valued even though they put so much energy into the other person. basically draining your life out of you.
i love this poem because it says all of that, but in simple terms. and it puts things into perspective a bit. and i hope everyone that relates at this present moment can allow themselves to feel peace again.
the reaction! so many people love this poem! as i was composing my book, after reading them so many times i struggled to actually identify what my stronger poems were. from friend's crying after reading it, to the reaction it got on instagram, i know it touches people which is exactly my aim.
what to learn from this reminder...
if they drain the life out of you, they aren't right for you
it's important to make sure you're health isn't compromised at someone else's expense (who wouldn't do the same for you)
how to put it in practice:
identify what relationship you're in and try take the action you know is right.
NEEDS WORK BUT MAKES ME HAPPY | remember to communicate how you feel. tell them you've been feeling a certain way recently and explain why. ask them if they could do xyz to potentially fix things. ask them if there's anything they would like you to do. it's normal for things not to be 100% perfect all the time. but the work needs to actually happen, not just be discussed. |
ISN'T WORKING, NOT HAPPY | if communication hasn't worked, and you're relationship is truly draining you, it's not for you. depending on your situation, it ranges in difficulty in terms of taking the step to leave. but it's always hard. it's so worth it to get your shine back in the end though. i believe in you. |
NOT SURE | if you've communicated and seen no action, it's time to prioritise yourself. if you don't feel safe communicating, they're not for you. it can be really hard to accept, especially if things were once good but you're strong. i know you are. |
if you are in an abusive relationship, need support/help and can access the following then please do:
REALITY
'it's okay to talk about our happiness'
(page 54) which comes from the following poem:
we relentlessly compare calamities and hardships
and nourish each other with the vitamins of complaint
it's okay to enjoy the warmth of the sun on your cheek
satisfactory feelings deserve too to be embraced
why i love this:
it's so true!! it really is okay to talk about our happiness! but so many of us don't. we dim down our achievements, struggle to accept compliments and complain about mundane things such as the weather (even though we just did something amazing earlier!). often in environments like school or workplaces, it's an expectation to say you're tired or bored, and whilst this could be true, we often don't talk about uplifting things. on the days you're in a good mood, you should never purposefully shut that down. talking about out happiness (achievements, passions) should be celebrated! don't be afraid to do it.it makes our energy so much better! only focusing on the negative brings you to a negative space. you'll start to light up a room and actually be more happy as a result.what to learn from this reminder...
it's good to:
appreciate the little things
be proud of your achievements
tell people about the passion that feeds your soul!!
how to put it into practice:
try not get involved in complain culture (complaining about the rain, ect...) and take a more optimistic view (romanticise it!)
be kinder to yourself - if someone compliments you, accept it. instead of saying 'no i look so bad' say 'thank you i feel really good today' (especially if you know you are looking extra good today, don't be afraid to admit it)
tell people your achievements with pride. instead of the 'no big deal' approach, be authentic in how you feel - excitement, joy, pride! why dim it down?
don't be afraid to tell people what you really do in your free time. say you love writing, and you've published a poetry book, when people ask 'what do u do for fun' don't respond with 'watch tv'. not only does it make you more interesting, it gives you real conversation topics and you'll be able to make connections with people who may enjoy the same thing!
LOVE
'it's in the small details'
(page 90) from the following poem...
love is elaborate displays
a fire defiant to water
but intimate detail
crackles and wood flakes
are what's most important
love is a shoulder turned pillow
a voice that speaks soft
a hand forever open
a tear free to drop
a promise kept
a gift treasured
a chocolate left
despite it being the last piece
love is boundless belief
without substantial guarantee
home and all its ingredients
will make the whole world spin
love exists within
every medium there is
why is this one of my favs??
sometimes people forget the small details. remembering they like a certain type of chocolate and surprising them with it, offering to go on the dog walk with them, kissing goodbye. that always comes before grand gestures. for me, i'd much prefer a love note than an expensive watch (especially if that person has lots of money in the first place). of course, receiving a gift is special and i would be thankful. but what i mean is, love is the small details - it's knowing your person and what they like / putting time in for them (like a love note - absolutely priceless). it's just that extra effort to really show you know your partner, and want to make time for them.what to learn...
small details > grand gestures
don't forget to do this yourself
how to put it into practice:
show your partner/friends/family you appreciate them through little acts of kindness you know will be meaningful to them
if you are the recipient of the meaningful action then show you are grateful
YOU
'who are you?'
(page 117) from the following poem...
who are you? they ask
in many forms
is it how i dress
my name
my face
my job, perhaps?
and i wonder
if i will ever
know the answer
to that question
why i love this:
we are told who we are from the day we are born. we are given a name and an ascribed status such as daughter/son and working-class/middle-class. as we grow we claim more labels. when we introduce ourselves we say 'i'm (your name)' and get to used to answering the 'who are you' question with that and some other labels attached to you. the question 'who are you' goes so much deeper, and is so important to explore yet is never truly answered. i think it's important to gain a sense of identity. learn your morals and values but don't forget to practise them and turn them into virtues! what to learn from this reminder:
get to know yourself
if you like who you are, remember who you are
if you think you need to improve some aspects (like how you cope with hard situations, ect...) then try and take relevant steps to become the best version of yourself you can be.
how to put it into practice:
write down an 'answer' to this question in as much detail as possible. start off with the basics and keep getting deeper until you don't know what to write anymore. remember there is never a perfect answer for this and it can change! don't put too much pressure on finding this amazing answer. it's a positive step to get to know yourself more, that's all!
if you're struggling to get to know yourself, think of hypothetical situations and how you would react. this could help you understand yourself more. it could also teat if your values are aligned with your virtues.
It's all fun and games reading and analysing these reminders, but the most beneficial thing we can all do is apply them.
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